The Mystery of the Missing Ketchup Bottle
by Deja Know I Been Lookin For Vu
Summary: A familiar electric rodent has discovered a ketchup bottle has gone missing. Who could the culprit be?
1. Whodunit?

******Title: The Mystery of the Missing Ketchup Bottle  
Author: Deja Vu  
Summary: Pikachu has discovered that a ketchup bottle has gone missing. Who could the culprit be?  
Rating: No language, only a little Pokéviolence.  
Disclaimer: I don't own Pokémon, but this story is mine. **

* * *

The name is Chu. Pika Chu.

A few months ago, I headed a very serious investigation for a bottle of ruby-colored condiment. It all started out innocently enough, on what seemed like just a normal day...

* * *

I was laying out in the sun, relaxing, as one is prone to do from time to time. I was attempting to snooze and sunbathe, but my human was running about the yard like an idiot, yelling orders to a very perturbed Charizard.

The large orange dragon yawned, trying to ignore the animated trainer who was buzzing around him like an excited Venonat.

"Go! Charizard!" Pika-pi shouted.

Charizard scratched himself.

I shook my head, then got to my feet. It was too noisy outside. Yawning, I told Pika-pi and Pikachu-pi that I was going inside. Pikachu-pi was currently sunbathing and reading a book, all the while watching with an amused eye Pika-pi's vain efforts to tame the dragon. The squinty-eyed human was elsewhere in Pallet Town, probably still ineffectively trying to find a mate.

"Okay, Pikachu," my human said absent-mindedly, still trying to get the stubborn Charizard to obey him.

I padded gently towards the house and scratched at the door to the Ketchum residence. Mimey let me in and started dusting me with a featherduster. "Mime, mime," he said, humming to himself.

"Piii," I complained, trying to get away from him. Reluctantly, he let me go.

I started to go and curl up on the couch, but a rumble in my belly reminded me that I was hungry. When your stomach calls, you can do nothing but answer.

So I went up to the refrigerator, unsuspecting of what I was going to see. I managed to open it with the process I had perfected after numerous trials and errors, and I gazed hungrily at the side. And then I saw the gaping empty spot.

The bottle of ketchup was _gone_.


	2. Evidence

I stared in horror, then I quickly swept my sharp-eyed gaze over the rest of the fridge.

But the ketchup was nowhere to be found.

I blinked in astonishment. The culprit _would_ be found.

Immediately, I began looking for clues. First, I went to the shelf where the ketchup used to be, sniffing frantically. All I caught was the vague scent of humans. The humans only rarely used the bottom shelf anymore, knowing that it was reserved for _my_ ketchup bottles. It had to have been another Pokémon that took it. Besides, the humans knew better, and they had _bought_ the ketchup bottle for me.

No, it was one of my teammates, or perhaps one of the Pokémon in Pikachu-pi's or the squinty-eyed human's party, or maybe even Mimey. The Psychic-type _had_ been suspicious, trying to keep me away from the refrigerator and all....

I flicked my eyes from side to side. I needed some sort of system. Looking around, an idea sprang to my mind.

I leapt onto the counter, grabbing a box of crayons and a notebook I spied there. Pika-pi had been drawing pictures of Pokémon he hoped one day to catch, like Dragonite and Moltres. With a mental apology towards him, I ripped out his pages and put them on the counter so that there was nothing but clean paper. I couldn't have anything confusing my data.

I pushed the notebook onto the floor and jumped down with the crayon box in my mouth. I put the box down, and began ripping out pieces of paper. On each piece of paper I hastily scribbled a picture of a Pokémon. My pictures were of: Mimey, Bulbasaur, Charizard, Squirtle, Kingler, Muk, Psyduck, Staryu, Togepi, Vulpix, Zubat, Onix, and Geodude.

I had doubts as to whether some of them would or could have done it or even _liked_ my holy bottle of ketchup, but I put them down as suspects anyway. I had a few blanks pieces of paper ready in case I heard the report of some mysterious creatures being nearby. I contemplated putting the humans down, but thought back to when I had last seen the ketchup bottle.

_ That morning I had nursed the bottle for a while before lovingly putting it back._

_ Pika-pi's mother had patted me on the head. "I'm going to the store and to Professor Oak's, and I shouldn't be back until later tonight. Take care of Ash for me, will you?"_

_ "Pika," I nodded._

_ Then I had gone outside to nap. It hadn't been too much longer before she'd left._

It couldn't be Pika-pi's mother. It _couldn't_ be.

I'd been outside with Pika-pi and Pikachu-pi all day, so it couldn't have been them either. I also would have known if the other human had returned.

Okay. Definitely not them.

It had to have been a Pokémon.

I tried sniffing at the floor near the refrigerator, but it was useless. Just because they'd been _near_ the refrigerator didn't mean they got into it.

Suddenly, a thought occurred to me, and I sheepishly went to my drawings.

I put big black X's over Charizard and Onix. There was no _way_ they could have come in the house and stole the ketchup bottle. They were just too big.

I observed my other pictures to see if there were any other such ridiculous suggestions.

Bulbasaur? A possibility. He could open the fridge with his vines.

Mimey? I narrowed my eyes. He was definitely under suspicion. After all, he could take the bottle with his Psychic powers.

Squirtle? Yep, he had arms.

Kingler? I winced. Somehow, I didn't think he could open the refridgerator with those big claws of his. It just wouldn't work. I marked his picture out.

Muk? I thought for a moment....Hm. I didn't see what need he would have for ketchup, but I guess he was still a possibility.

Psyduck? I almost laughed at the thought of him trying to get the ketchup bottle, but I couldn't deny the fact that he _did_ have Psychic powers, and he might have been able to get it....

Staryu? I shook my head slowly. Staryu was just a Water-type. Now, if Pikachu-pi hadn't left Starmie with her sisters, I might have suspected _it_, for it was also a Psychic-type. But, considering Staryu wasn't a Psychic-type and didn't have a mouth, I didn't think it did it. I crossed out its picture.

Togepi....I furrowed my yellow brow. Now, _that_ one was a wild card. It might have been just a baby, but it was always managing to get into mischief. Yes, Togepi would stay.

Vulpix? Definitely! I didn't like the way she was looking at my ketchup bottle the other day.

Zubat? I frowned, trying to imagine the Flying- and Poison-type coming in and taking the ketchup. It didn't have eyes, for crying out loud! Nor did it have arms....I nodded to myself, and Zubat was soon off the list of suspects.

Geodude....Now, that was a tougher one. I didn't think he would come inside. It was too easy for him to break things, and, besides, I didn't think ketchup was on his diet. So....No Geodude.

I looked at my dwindled pile. Bulbasaur, Mimey, Squirtle, Muk, Psyduck, Togepi, and Vulpix. Plus, any mysterious Pokémon that might have managed to sneak into the house.

All right. Now it was time for the questioning.

I saw Mimey, humming to himself and dusting things. He still looked suspicious to me.

I casually strolled up to him. [Whatcha been doin' all day, Mimey?]

"Mime?" He tilted his head and looked at me. Then he answered, [Cleaning.]

[Oh, yeah? Hm....You haven't seen anyone with a ketchup bottle around here, have you?] I inquired, watching him closely for any sort of guilty reaction.

"Mime," the Mr. Mime shook his head. [Only you.]

Drats. No reaction. [All right,] I said. [Seeya around, Mimey.]

I walked outside. Nothing gained from that visit. He was probably just good at hiding his guilt.

When I went outside, Kingler greeted me with his squooshy-sounding voice. [Hello, Pikachu.]

[Hi, Kingler.] I smiled at him. [I don't suppose you've happened to see a bottle of some kind around here....] I tried to look as casual as I could, to keep him off his guard.

He thought for a moment, then pointed with his overgrown pincer. [I think I saw something in the bushes over there.]

I smiled. [Thanks.] I resisted the urge to bound over to the bushes, instead strolling over slowly, keeping an eye on all the Pokémon around me. [Oh!] I said quickly, catching Kingler's attention. [Have you seen any strange Pokémon around lately?]

The crab shook his head.

[Okay, thanks.]

Well, that didn't necessarily mean anything. I started looking around the bushes when my heart stopped in my throat.

The precious bottle!  
  
I rushed to it, only to find that it was gutted.

"Piii," my eyes welled up, but I forced the tears back. I had to be strong.

I carefully looked over the bottle. There were suspicious bits of sludge and mud on it.

Forcing back still more tears, I continued searching the bottle for clues. I blinked in surprise at what I managed to find.

At the bottom of the bottle, sticking to a little bit of the sludge, so fine I almost couldn't see them, were a few fine red hairs. How they had managed to stay on the bottle was beyond me. I continued looking, not expecting to find anymore, but then I found a minute, light-colored feather. My brow furrowed. Pidgeotto---no, he'd evolved into Pidgeot---was gone. Psyduck didn't have feathers this color. What bird could it have come from?

~*~*~*~

_Author's Note:_ Next chapter coming soon. :D


	3. Accusations

_Author's Note:_ Oops, sorry about the thing with the names. I fixed it. :D

  


~*~*~*~

What bird could it have come from? The thought echoed in my mind.

What did all this mean?  


The sludge....It had to be Muk.

The red hairs....Vulpix!

And the feather? Where did the feather come in?  


Suddenly, I remembered Mimey's feather duster, and I gasped.

Were they all in cahoots together? If so, the suspects I'd exed out could be involved!

I could feel my temper rising, and my cheeks started to spark.

I marched over to Muk, who was beside Bulbasaur and Vulpix. I gasped at what I saw.

Bulbasaur was tickling Vulpix with his vines, and the foxlike Pokémon was giggling, but that's not what made me gasp. On Bulbasaur's vines I saw a few little droplets of red. Not blood, but ketchup.

[Stop!] I cried out, and Bulbasaur froze.

I stomped up to the Grass-type and pointed with a short arm at his vines. [_What_ is that?]

Bulbasaur looked quizzically at his vines, seeing what I was talking about. [Uh, I dunno.] He looked a little scared.

[You all stole my ketchup bottle, didn't you?] My cheeks were _really_ sparking now. [You thought it'd be funny to take poor Pikachu's favorite treat, now didn't you?]

Bulbasaur shook his head fiercely. [That's not true, I don't know how that got th---]

I interrupted him. [So you helped eat it, Bulbasaur. And _you_!] I turned to the Fire-type and the Poison-type. [You two helped steal it, didn't you? But not without Mimey's help.]

They stared at me with wide unblinking eyes.

[I know what happened, and you can't deny it. Mimey levitated the ketchup bottle out of the fridge. _That's_ why I couldn't smell any Pokémon. Then the bottle was passed off to Muk and Vulpix, who gave it to Bulbasaur to eat. Who else enjoyed my ketchup? _Who else_?] Before they could reply, I began thinking out loud. [The only thing I don't get is the mud. How did the mud get on the bottle....] It was then that my eyes landed on Squirtle.

Squirtle was wallowing in a mud-hole of his own design.

[Squirtle helped you,] I breathed. Eyes flaring, I shouted, [He's just as guilty as you!!!]


	4. Psy?

[Hold on, Pikachu,] Muk said.

I was tempted to Thunderbolt them all right then and there. [What?] I hissed. I wasn't going to restrain myself for much longer.

[You're right that Squirtle and I _touched_ the bottle.] Seeing my cheeks sparking even more than they already were, Muk was quick to add, [But it was empty when we did. You see, Squirtle and I were relaxing in the mudhole he made when Psyduck came outside with a bottle stuck on his arm. We helped him get it off, and it went flying off into the bushes over there.] Muk lifted a sludgy arm and pointed.

I faltered. [_Psyduck_ stole the ketchup bottle?] I blinked for a moment before finally protesting, [No, no, that can't be. I found some red hairs and a feather from Mimey's duster. How do you explain those? And the ketchup on your vines, Bulbasaur. What about that?]

The Grass-type looked at me in confusion. Bulbasaur didn't know.

[How about we ask Psyduck?] Vulpix suggested tentatively. She was keeping her distance from me, and, taking into account how angry I was, I couldn't blame her.

I stared incredulously at her for her suggestion. As if _Psyduck_ would say anything meaningful. Still, we had to try. I sighed. [Where is he?]

Muk pointed at him. [Over there.]

So we marched over to the clueless duck.

"Psy?" the yellow duck tilted his head.

[Psyduck, how did you get a bottle stuck on your hand?] I asked.

"Psy?"

I repeated myself, a little impatiently.

The duck still looked clueless.

Bulbasaur decided to help jog his memory. [Psyduck. Togepi started crying, so Mimey came and got me, and I went inside and sang a lullaby and rocked Togepi to sleep. Remember how you came in through the open door and stood beside us as we soothed the child? Remember how I then left to give Togepi to Misty? What did you do while you were in the house? How did you get the bottle stuck on your arm?]

Psyduck thought hard for a moment, which looked painful. "Psy-yi...." He thought hard for a moment longer. [Fell and found bottle under couch. Try to get bottle. Bottle get stuck.]

Something seemed to tug at me. The bottle had fallen under the couch....

  


_Author's Note:_ Oh ho ho, but it's not over yet....


	5. Massive Amounts of Rage

"Pika!" I said, rushing up to the house. The couch! Under the couch!

Mimey let me in, looking a little confused at my franticness.

[Mimey, did Togepi come in the house all alone?] I asked in a rush.

"Mime," he nodded, giving me a curious look. [I let Togepi inside. It was crying at the door. Probably hungry.]

[What'd you do then?] I thought for a second, then added, [Did you dust Togepi like you did me?]

"Mister," he nodded. [I have to keep everyone clean.]

[What'd you do next?]

[I went upstairs to clean,] he said in a tone of voice that reminded me of the human word 'duh.'

[Then what happened?] I asked.

[I heard Togepi crying, so I came downstairs.]

[Then?] I pestered, peering up at him.

[I couldn't get Togepi to stop crying, so I got Bulbasaur, since he was closest to the house.]

[And Bulbasaur lulled Togepi to sleep,] I said underneath my breath, finishing the story. [The hairs....It still doesn't explain the hairs....] I spoke softly to myself. I looked sharply at Mimey. [Thanks!] I shot as I sped outside.

[Vulpix!] I called to the awaiting Pokémon. [Did you have any contact with Togepi today?]

The Fire-type nodded. [I was playing with Togepi, but I think it was hungry. It bit my tail.] She whimpered and showed her injured tail. [It hurt, so I stopped playing with Togepi.]

[Then?] I queried.

[I think it wandered off,] Vulpix answered. [It might have gone inside to eat.]

I began thinking out loud. [So Togepi bit Vulpix and got her hairs in its mouth. It was hungry and, logically, if that egg could be logical, went inside, where it was dusted by Mimey. Then Togepi must have gone into the kitchen, where it used its mind to open the refrigerator doors.] I scratched my head, thinking. [So the feathers and the fur got onto the bottle....Togepi must have eaten the contents of the bottle, then....Then played with it, getting ketchup all over itself! The bottle rolled under the couch, so Togepi started crying. Then Mimey came, and—] I cut off.

It was that blasted egg that had done it.

That stupid egg had stolen _my_ ketchup bottle!

I scampered over to where the cursed thing was snoozing with Pikachu-pi, throwing off the appendages of my friends that tried to get me not to.

I ripped the egg off Pikachu-pi and threw it to the ground, where it immediately started sobbing like the crybaby it was. Truly, however, it was not hurt.

I had put my life in danger for this blasted egg countless times, only to have it go and steal _my_ ketchup bottle.

I would make scrambled eggs out of it!  


My cheeks sparked. "Piiiiiiikaaaaaa—"

  


_Author's Note:_ Surely you didn't think I'd let you off without another twist, did you? Wait for the next chapter. It's short, but it's the final one....


	6. Conclusion

"Piiiiiiikaaaaaa—" I had started, but I was cut off by Pika-pi's mother. Surprised, I looked up at her. She was back already?

I was in control of my senses enough to put a guilty-looking face on, but she didn't seem to notice what I was about to do.

Togepi stopped crying instantly when it heard Delia, and it looked curiously at her.

"Guess what I have?" the woman said, smiling. She was carrying two bags of groceries. "I got home sooner than I thought I would, Pikachu, and I brought you...a _bottle_ of ketchup." She set the bottle down in front of me with a wide grin, and I stared at it with wide eyes. "That old bottle of yours has been in the fridge for a while, and somehow it got a hole in it—maybe the glass got too cold or something—, so I washed most of the ketchup out and gave it to Togepi to play with after Mimey let him in. I figured you would enjoy a new bottle so much more than your old, leaky one. So, there you are, Pikachu." She left with her perpetual smile, leaving me and the other Pokémon to stand in stunned silence.

I stood staring at the bottle for a long time afterwards.

* * *

The name is Chu. Pika Chu.

A few months ago, I headed a very serious investigation for a bottle of ruby-colored condiment. I helped solve the mystery of the missing ketchup bottle. The case has now been laid to rest.

It wasn't easy, but the case _was_ solved. That's all that matters in the end...Not how it was solved, but that it _was_ solved. Even the best of investigators can be thrown off the scent...

Pika Chu out.


End file.
